i just can't control..

The word of stupid is really rude
I know I know
But i can't control myself
She's stupid!! Damn you...
Dear Allah forgive me
Really I'm trying to control myself
But her attitude, her communication, her respond make me feel like crazy 
I just can't control to call her stupid 
I know i'm not good too
I know i'm full of weekness
I know i can't call someone like that
Because she's from You Ya Allah
I'm not hating her, but i hate her attitude
I know she's really worthy to me 
But to be Farah Anida like before is really difficult
It's not easy to be patiece
It's not easy to be strong
It's not easy to still silence
My heart really sick of this
Dear Allah, give me guidance
I hate to call this rude word 
I know it's not good
I know 
I know it well
But i just can't control it...