Year of uncertainty..2012

Today is 31.12.2011. Ohh time goes so fastly. I dont know, but scare to celebrate 2012. Memang tak pernah excited pun setiap tahun nak celebrate new year. Malah langsung tak berminat nak pergi konsert atau apa. Ni tahun ni, memang macam2 cerita pasal tahun 2012. Bukan sahaja pasal cerita kiamat tu, tetapi pasal lain juga. Kat wall fb Fedtri Yahya, wall fb Wardina, wall fb Dato' Fadhilah Kamsah masing2 cerita pasal year 2012. Ntah, pasal wallstreet, pasal surah Arrohman yang diulang2 dan akan berlaku pada 2012. Ya Allah, memang tak percaya pasal kiamat dari kaum mayan tu. Tapi dalam hati ada juga terdetik rasa takut.

Memang masa sangat cepat. Selalu terfikir masa2 akan datang juga. Tahun 2020, tahun 2030...Ya Allah, memang dunia akhir zaman. Setiap hari, pasti ada kejadian pelik berlaku.  Pasal gay, pasal anak bunuh ibu bapa, pasal anak luar nikah yang dibuang, pasal rogol, pasal zina yang berleluasa. Memang la dah kembali ke zaman jahiliah. Kalau lah masa ni Rasulullah masih ada, tak tahu apa yang dia akan rasa. Pasti bersedih dengan Umat dia yang jauh terpesong. I'm also not a good Muslimah. Kalau mati sekarang pun, tak tahu kat mana yang akan dituju. Memang takut, tapi inilah kenyataan kehidupan. Rasa seronok kot hidup zaman 90an dahulu. Masa tu still kecik & just focus to school. Masa tu tak ada cerita pelik2 juga. Masa tu juga tak banyak berlaku bencana alam macam sekarang. Now, earthquake occurs almost everyday. Then, ribut taufan, banjir sana sini. Memang ini bencana di atas kesalahan manusia. Manusia dah tersasar jauh. Jauh dari Pencipta.

Apapun, life must go on. pasal kiamat or bencana memang itu urusan Allah. So it's out of our control. Urusan manusia hanya sentiasa berusaha untuk dekat dengan Dia, Allah Rabbul Jalil. Azam tahun baru, yang memang sentiasa dibawa dari tahun lepas...Nak dekat dengan Allah, be focus, use time wisely, be istiqamah & passionate in whatever i do. Insya Allah. Azam nak kawin, emm still berdoa. Really need His guidance. If with marriage i can be near to Allah, i wish i will get marry soon. Insya Allah. But i always believe that everything happened for the good reason. Allah knows best & i'm not so worried about that.

So, wish Happy New Year 2012...Hopefully, this coming year will be better from previous year. Amin!!! 

PB corset....

In this few days, I really 'pening' with the corset promotion at fb. I think, nearly 10 of my fb's friends are PB corset agent including Enin. All write the benefit to sell PB corset via internet. All gain high bonus, more than their monthly salary. Ada yang siap2 resign kerja sekarang & be fully time to sell PB corset. Yelah, the income is higher than salary, so what for to work 8 hours per day with the low income kan?? Besides that, they also can visit oversea with fully sponsored & can shopping branded original thing there.

Ohh memang la i jealous. I also wanna have high income. Really, i want to have high income. Nak shopping, beli rumah, beli buku, beli kereta, beli emas, beli ntah apa2 nafsu lagi kan. But, i dont like the kind of business. MLM!!!Sungguh kena cari orang & i'm not motivated by it.

Kenapa sampai sekarang still tak tahu apa nak buat? Ya Allah, give me guidance. Tak tahu what is the best to me. Sungguh la i always late than others. But better late than never kan!!!how to know what's the best for me????

Sungguhla sangat menyentuh hati....

On 24.12.2011 i got 1 message from my old friend, Hidayah Johari via sms said "wife kawan saya, Muhammad Akram memerlukan penderma darah B-ve, baby dah lahir, lelaki...tetapi keadaan isteri dia kritikal sebab pendarahan terlalu banyak, Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II"


1st time i got the message, i just ignore it. Ohh that's only Dayah wanna forward the msg for those who are in KB. But when i saw dayah's wall in fb, ayat dia memang sangat terdesak & his fren's wife really need blood. & i think, what if the scenario happened to my family? Mesti pada masa tu, i akan sangat risau & penuh mengharap. Dan semestinya familynya juga sangat risau ketika itu. So, I forward the message to a few of my friends. But not all responded to me. But at least, i did samething for her & pray to Allah, hoped that she will fight until the end. Memang malam tu ada niat juga nak solat hajat dekat dia, minta Allah selamatkan dia. I just dont care who she is. Memang tak pernah kenal. Hubby kawan dayah tu pun tak kenal. Tapi rasanya memang patut juga untuk mendoakan kepada orang lain. But on that time, seem semua benda macam malas nak buat. Nak zikir malas, AlQuran malas. Bangun Isyak juga late at night. Sangat mengantuk, dalam hati sahaja berdoa untuk beliau dan terus tidur. 

Tomorrow morning, i forgot about her. Just go on with my life. Had a good day to my friend's house, cooked & watched the movie. After came back from Amani's house, i opened my fb & saw the status stated that she was already died. Ya Allah, Ya Allah. it was really shocked & surprised. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Alfatihah. Really, if i have same kind of blood with her, i will donate. But Allah love her more & of course anything happened for the good reason.

Actually, she is the sister of Alhijrah TV's host, Amin Idris. Itupun tahu selepas puas menggodek fb & kebetulan k. Azizah aling komen di wall Amin Idris. So i started seaching about her. At Amin Idris's fb, stated the reason of her death. Memang sebab kehilangan banyak darah, so darah tak sampai ke otak & menyebabkan otak tak boleh berfungsi. Entah kenapa memang sedih. Pity the baby & her husband. But always said to myself that Allah knows the best. The baby also still in the hospital. Fight until now to live. Semoga baby kuat & menjadi anak yang soleh. Insya Allah!!!

So, kisah ni memang touching. Kisah yang benar & bukan tentang Dhia. Everyone also will return to Allah, no matter how & when. I always pray to Allah to be Muslimah Solehah & always near to HIM. Sungguhla mati itu pasti. Really scared to think about it. But it is really out of control. Apa yang boleh  dibuat adalah be more prepare to that. Tak kira hidup sampai bila, 20 tahun lagi, 100 tahun lagi or sesaat lagi, i must prepare the very best of me to return to Allah!!!

Alfatihah to her & Hopefully Allah give more patience to her family!!!Amin...

What is his problem????Really don't understand him????

ohh really, I'm not patience anymore. Really, I can't avoid myself from to talk about someone. Trying very hard to be patience & silence, but i really can't. What is his problem actually? Is he so happy to talk badly about someone. Is it his hobby? If that so, he just can work alone. You cannot work with others. At first, I'm really trying to ignore him. Ok, just do whatever you wanna do as long as you are nothing to do with me. But, your words are really painful. I'm sick when hearing you words. Really, my patience is out of limit!!!!

An-Nisa' - ayat 100

Dan barangsiapa berhijrah di jalan Allah, nescaya mereka akan mendapatkan di bumi ini tempat hijrah yang luas dan (rezeki) yang banyak. Barang siapa keluar dari rumahnya dengan maksud berhijrah kerana Allah dan Rasul-Nya, kemudian kematian menimpanya (sebelum sampai tempat yang dituju), maka sungguh pahalanya telah ditetapkan di sisi Allah. Dan Allah Maha Pengampun dan Maha Penyayang.

Rasanya ayat ni juga sebagai ayat untuk seseorang berubah dari seorang yang jahat kepada seorang yang baik. Hijrah tidak terhad kepada perpindahan satu tempat ke satu tempat. I'm also wanna hijrah. Dari yang tak berzikir kepada seorang yang berzikir selalu, dari yang tidak focus dan istiqamah menjadi seorang yang istiqamah dan focus terutamanya dalam beribadah, membaca, membuat kerja dan etc, dari seorang yang tidak penyayang kepada seorang yang lebih penyayang, dari seorang yang penakut kepada seorang yang lebih berani, dari seorang yang tidak yakin berbahasa Inggeris kepada seorang yang lebih yakin, dari seorang yang malas membaca kepada seorang yang ulat buku dan banyak lagi impian penghijrahan diri... 

confuse..

I'm so confuse with myself, why I don't have dream...I mean what career I wanna do...accountant???auditor?serious, i really confuse. In my imagination, I wanna work at the place that will pay me high income, with lot of job, but still have time for Allah, myself & my family. I mean, I don't have to stay at office late at night & will so tired when back home until I don't have time to recite AlQuran, to read books, to surf net, to watch TV & etc. From my career, I also want to improve my knowledge & English & have opportunity to visit oversea...I think that dream will never come true. Ada ke workplace yang macam ni????That's why i'm very confuse of myself. & untill now, I don't have any idea....Serious, I'm worried about my CPD hour...Ohh CPD hour, what should I do????????