Thursday, 8 June 2017

Just Allah is enough



I sedih in advance since everyone will have their own life start from now....
Bertemu dan berpisah tu normal kan...
But i sejenis orang yang tak suka berpisah.
Nak sentiasa sama je. Statik.
Nak still kerja sama-sama, nak cakap still macam dulu...
but still everyone will change...
Berubah dari segi rezeki, perbuatan, cara hidup...
Kalau dulu, lebih banyak bercakap dari tengok phone and now semua orang with phone
tak kisah la nak scroll ig, whatsapp with boyfren or business online
so masa bercakap dengan kawan2 tak sama macam dulu
meriah dan karut sentiasa...

Ayu will resign soon since she got government contract amounted RM2 million.
Tan always busy will her frens in whatsapp group n now her new boyfrend
Da still the same but soon maybe will change
Nurul who got married and now busy with her family. Not contact just like before.

Me?
What happened to me?
Go to work, just buat buat busy scroll ig n fb
Also buat2 busy with drama melayu or kdrama
And i think i am alone.
Kadang2 i angry to myself sebab still alone
Kadang2 marah to diorang since we are not just like before
Makan bersama but still with hp for business or with whatsapp
Why on that time we just speak n talk each other
Compared to just stay n look at handphone.
So kecik hati n i buat-buat busy dengan hp jugak walaupun tak ada benda nak tengok

I know just Allah is enough to fulfill the loneliness.
But i am not good. Jahat sentiasa dan sentiasa lara lara.
Keep remind just Allah for you, but i think i need friends n family too.
Keep remind myself all just temporary but i still frust
I think i frust to myself, but meluahkan rasa marah kat diorang.
Tak ada marah secara terang, but buat2 dengar lagu with headphone
or kalau ada yang datang nak cakap buat-buat tak dengar kekonon busy with song or everything
or buat-buat macam malas nak dengar cerita diorang
sebab time nak bercerita pasal boyfren je nak bercerita
Then always with handphone.

Haih i ada penyakit jeolous sebenarnya.
Jealous since semua orang maju ke depan n i still the same.
Diaorang tak salah
Yang salah diri sendiri je
Yes i frust to myself
Frust sebab tak berubah, tak berdoa, tak minta dari Allah sungguh2 hanya berangan sokmo
Frust jugak sebab hanya kena duduk rumah tak boleh ke mana-mana
Frust tak boleh ambil angin lain
Frust tak boleh pergi oversea
Frust sebab still tak jumpa calon suami.. ** ni tak frust mana pun.
Ommo, semua frust ke arah duaniawi je kan.

Yang sebenarnya, i frust because i am not strong enough to change
Change to be better
Change to be very good muslimah
Change to be new FARAH
n if i change i know my life will also change
On that time, i know the feeling of being "just ALLAH is enough" not others.



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